black friday, blue balls

So..... Black Friday I was invited to my best gf's house for a little post-Thanksgiving celebration. I got there a bit late, drank most of a bottle of wine and sexted with this boy J all night to arrange to meet up for our first date after he got out of work. Did I mention he owns a liquor store? :D
9:30 rolls around and I stumble down the street to meet him at the bar, have a couple beers and decide he isn't a total psycho. So I invite him to come back to my friend's with me to enjoy some more wine and good company. Problem is I did enjoy more wine. A lot more wine. On top of the beer. Now usually I have a strict no-mixing policy when it comes to booze, but it was a party! Anything goes! Speaking of, a little make out in the kitchen that carried over to the privacy of the bathroom? Yes PLEASE!! Although I can't tell if it was any good because I was pretty intoxied at that point.
So intoxied in fact that I had to kick him out of the bathroom so I could vom. SO attractive, I know!!! Ugh. Luckily my bestie knows when I've been overserved and came in to tie up my hair and bring me water. Some time later (time is irrelevant when you're huggin the toilet, frankly) we left and Mr. Nice Guy as I'll call him followed me to make sure I got home ok. He walked me inside and got me to bed with minimal inappropriate advances. SCORE!! Did I finally find a nice guy??? Can it be???

OH BUT NO

The next day I get texts from him ranging from, "you're so beautiful, I'd love to see you again" to "could you feel my boner when we were kissing in the bathroom?" to "what color are your panties, what style do you like best, I want to see you in a thong!!"

Ugh. He's a perv. Why WHY WHHHHHYYYYYY??? What is wrong with men?? BAck to the drawing board....