Monday, October 26, 2009
where have all the cowboys gone?
while we're on the subject, you may have noticed that my Minions are all in red. That means that for one reason or another they have been dismissed. It's not an easy thing to dump a chump and there have actually been a few...ok maybe two.. that I was sorry to see go. But the thing about men is they're a dime a damn dozen and the second they're any bit of trouble I'm looking over their shoulder for the next one. Stay tuned. New Minions are coming and I'm very excited to report I have some in the works that may actually be of some use to me!! Does that sound horrible? Here's the thing... relationships are about give and take. If a lovesick puppy dog of a man wants to give me ohhh say a security system, a bottle of my favorite wine, a remote car starter... I'm gonna take them. A ho? No that don't make me. ;) I like to think of myself as an opportunist. When you're juggling a few different men, one has to consider what benefits and advantages seeing one man has over another. For instance I have been talking to this guy on and off for a year, we even went out a couple times. I was never that interested because he seemed like kind of a bum to me, but lo and behold, he contacted me this week and just started working again for his family's business as a general contractor. Oh La La! Drywalling, floor tiling and plumbing oh my! All of a sudden he became QUITE a bit more interesting than say the IT guy I'm also talking to. Although you never know when you'll need tech support....a bachelorette's work is never done.
if i get one more picture of a penis today...
Gentleman, start your engines BEFORE you send me pictures of your peni (plural for penis). It's bad enough that you feel the need to shoot awkward photos on your camera phones with some tiny hope that I will send you something back, at the very least you could make the pictures interesting. Put a bowtie on it. Make it sing a little song. I'm partial to Lady Gaga's Paparazzi... BUT please for the love of GOD get it up before you press record. There is nothing worse than a flaccid penis floppin around - it's not a pretty appendage. Work with me here, put it in it's best light, raise him to his full potential!! Because frankly, when I show your pics and vids to all my friends, don't you want them to have a small moment of appreciation before they laugh and point?
PS: If any of you want to see said peni, all ya gotta do is ask. They're especially fun at cocktail parties.
PS: If any of you want to see said peni, all ya gotta do is ask. They're especially fun at cocktail parties.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
good thing i love that new man smell...
Well... sometimes even despite your best efforts things just don't turn out well. And sometimes men make such egregeous errors in judgement that they leave you with no choice but to cut them out like the dirty dogs they are. I won't get into the specifics of what 24 has done because frankly it's a bit raw yet but someday I'll be able to chuckle about the absurdity of it all and I'll share.
As Heidi likes to remind us, "you're either in or you're out."
24, auf Wiedersehen. kiss kiss.
As luck would have it, my venus fly trap tatas have snared a few more hapless victims so stay tuned...
ok... it's been a couple days. here's what... i let the son of a bitch videotape a certain oral act and he put it ON PORNHUB!!!!! that's grounds for immediate dismissal. Worst part? He's angry at me. Seriously.
As Heidi likes to remind us, "you're either in or you're out."
24, auf Wiedersehen. kiss kiss.
As luck would have it, my venus fly trap tatas have snared a few more hapless victims so stay tuned...
ok... it's been a couple days. here's what... i let the son of a bitch videotape a certain oral act and he put it ON PORNHUB!!!!! that's grounds for immediate dismissal. Worst part? He's angry at me. Seriously.
Monday, October 19, 2009
it's all smoke and mirrors
A word on appearance: it takes work to attract the stinkier sex. Although I have occasionally been picked up in sweats, a t-shirt and no makeup, I always feel most confidant with my game face on. And nothing is sexier to a guy than confidence. Men are visual creatures that walk around with sex on the brain 24/7. Work what your mama gave ya, play up your ASSets, downplay your not-so-good bits and work subtle sexy innuendo into your appearance.
LIPS: should be wet and glossy at all times. Lick them, nibble them, rub your fingertips across them when talking to a guy you dig. All he'll be thinking about is smoochin on em. Nobody is going to want to kiss a pair of lips that look like a cracked sidewalk so get your gloss on STAT. If you're a low maintenance kinda gal regular old vaseline or chap stick work wonderfully. I'm a gloss girl myself because a guy is more likely to kiss you if he isn't thinking about sticky smeary lipstick getting all over him. Assuming he's gotten that close, I sincerely hope you've addressed any unwanted facial hair and breath issues previously. It's also nice to slick on a gloss that has a nice subtle flavor - I'm a huge fan of Philosophy's line, especially the Coconut Frosting mmmmmmm.
EYES: here's where you can really have some fun. For an evening date I love a smoky eye, but try something other than basic black which can appear a bit goth and harsh. I often will take a favorite eye shadow in purple or brown, wet a liner brush and outline my lids in that blending just a bit so the line isn't too dramatic. One of the best makeup tricks I've ever learned is to dab a fingertip of white eyeshadow in the inside corners of your eyes - they instantly look brighter and more alert. Eyelashes can make or break your face and I take mine very seriously. I use BLACK BLACK BLACK mascara and always put on two coats, top lashes and bottom. Lately I've been using Maybelline The Collosal VolumExpress in Glam Black. It's a rich glossy black formula and the fat brush really encircles and coats your lashes. Love it. I also like Benefit's BadGal Lash but it's about 3x the cost so.... for a chick on a budget Maybelline is the way to go.
I also LOVE the Almay Bright Eyes collection of mascaras because they come in funky shades of Plum and Sapphire which are a subtle way to accentuate your peepers. Check them out too.
SKIN: clean and moisturize. It's as simple as that. I wash my face twice a day with regular old soap or face wash if I'm feeling fancy, but I slather (and I do mean SLATHER) my face and neck with lotion immediately out of the shower with particular attention to my eyes and forehead. It's a process to find a moisturizer that really sinks into your skin without clogging pores or feeling greasy and you may have to take some time experimenting with it to find the right bala
nce. I find that I have to change the formulas I use seasonally as well, but I have a few tried and true favorites on hand at all times. If your skin is clean and happy, you won't need much coverup or foundation. I like to dab a bit of coverup under my eyes and across my nose to help with dark circles. Right now I'm loving Calvin Klein's Infinite Matte Makeup which I picked up at Sephora on sale. I highly recommend it - great coverage but not greasy or cakey at all.HAIR: should always be clean, touchable and soft. Do not coat your hair with a bunch of sticky crunchy crap - no one wants to touch that and it looks like a hot mess. Who do men fantasize about? Victoria's Secret models. You need Victoria's Secret hair. That means long, flowing, just-rolled-around-in-bed-for-hours kind of hair. If it's too straight curl it a bit. If it's too curly relax it a bit. But keep the gunk out of it.
Ok that covers it. There are all my secrets. Put on some fabulous outfit that makes you feel like a goddess, spritz your pulse points with your sultriest perfume and you're ready to reel in some hapless men. :*
gentlemen: a word about your peni (that's plural for penis)
OK here's the thing: you know how you (men) like to curl up to us in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning and grind your boner into our hips, ass, back, arms, etc?? We don't like that. It was maybe cute the first couple times you did it when we were first dating and going at it like bunnies. It's old. And if we don't respond the first time you smash that thang all up on us it's because we are NOT INTERESTED. Really, there's no need to do it again harder. And again. And again. We got it the first time; you have a huge hard cock that wants our attention. Woohoo we'll have a freakin parade for you once we wake up, have some coffee, brush our teeth, shave our legs, yadda yadda yadda. Til then leave us the hell alone.
why you so obsessed with me?
10/16/09 email from Erick (former BSE) who was dismissed when I found out he was being shady and have not seen since:
Had a dream last night that you emailed me and you told me that you and your bf "reese" were going to a yankees redsox game at yankee stadium and that you were pregnate.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
From: bse
Sent: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 9:24 AM
To: leelooSubject: Re: Re:
I met a RPD officer a week ago, and he told me that he was stationed in your area... I asked him to keep an eye on your house, and he told me he was just there, he even knew Jack by name...
------Original Message------
From: leeloo
To: bse
Subject: RE: Re:
Sent: Oct 14, 2009 09:06
I don't know who would've told you that but it's incorrect. I was walking the dogs months ago and there was a car parked across from my house with guys hanging out of it. They were yelling stuff at me, trying to talk to me and I asked if they even lived on the street. Then they left. No cops.
-----Original Message-----
From: bse
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 7:52 PM
To: leeloo
Subject: Re:
I was told you called the police on some kids hanging out at the corner who woulnd't move when you where walking the dogs...
------Original Message------
From: leeloo
To: bse
Subject: RE:
Sent: Oct 13, 2009 10:30
?
-----Original Message-----
From: bse
Sent: Wednesday, October 07, 2009 10:35 AM
To: leeloo
Subject:
Why didn't you tell me you called the cops about drug dealers...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
SO...............apparently there is no need to apologize for being a shady asshole. Instead let's just send stupid emails about nothing to try and open up communication. I didn't even respond to the "dream" email. Learn how to spell PREGNANT, hillbilly.
Had a dream last night that you emailed me and you told me that you and your bf "reese" were going to a yankees redsox game at yankee stadium and that you were pregnate.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
From: bse
Sent: Wednesday, October 14, 2009 9:24 AM
To: leelooSubject: Re: Re:
I met a RPD officer a week ago, and he told me that he was stationed in your area... I asked him to keep an eye on your house, and he told me he was just there, he even knew Jack by name...
------Original Message------
From: leeloo
To: bse
Subject: RE: Re:
Sent: Oct 14, 2009 09:06
I don't know who would've told you that but it's incorrect. I was walking the dogs months ago and there was a car parked across from my house with guys hanging out of it. They were yelling stuff at me, trying to talk to me and I asked if they even lived on the street. Then they left. No cops.
-----Original Message-----
From: bse
Sent: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 7:52 PM
To: leeloo
Subject: Re:
I was told you called the police on some kids hanging out at the corner who woulnd't move when you where walking the dogs...
------Original Message------
From: leeloo
To: bse
Subject: RE:
Sent: Oct 13, 2009 10:30
?
-----Original Message-----
From: bse
Sent: Wednesday, October 07, 2009 10:35 AM
To: leeloo
Subject:
Why didn't you tell me you called the cops about drug dealers...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
SO...............apparently there is no need to apologize for being a shady asshole. Instead let's just send stupid emails about nothing to try and open up communication. I didn't even respond to the "dream" email. Learn how to spell PREGNANT, hillbilly.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Florida debauchery
ohhh so many funny stories... let me think... ok we went to this really yummy mid-eastern restaurant for lunch and there was this one guy checking me out, coming over to say hello and ask how our food was every 5 mins or whatever. so he comes over at one point, leans over and mumbles something at me. and i'm all, huh??? and he says, "I hope you don't mind me saying so but you have a very beautiful exotic look" and i'm like oh.. ok thank you
and cheryl starts yelling, what?? what's going on ?? what just happened here??
so he ran away hahaa then we were leaving and she was teasing me that he was going to follow us home. sure enough, he was out waiting by the stop sign, tried to flag us down. i just smiled, waved and said damnit cheryl drive drive drive. hahahahahahahaa
At the U2 concert.. ok this was a good one. we were sitting up pretty high in the stadium and about 3 rows back from us was this whole seperate VIP section with concessions and huge bathrooms, all air conditioned. etc. the normal ticket holders (like us) weren't allowed up there, only VIP ticket holders and there was this whacky little guy guarding the door. well it was blazing ass hot in that stadium and i was dying. the beer guy was walking around with his cooler so i told cheryl to grab me some of his ice so i could rub it on myself to cool off. so she reaches over and the guy is all , what are you doing?? and she says oh i just need some ice for my friend lol so he gives her this big plastic cup of ice. the guard at the door, i kid you not, refilled that ice cup for me about 12 times. he kept bringing it over, reaching past cheryl to give it to me, lol the people behind us were like oh wow that's nice of him, but where the hell is OUR ice??
so then i had to pee, i get out of the aisle and walk up the 3 rows to the guard and ask if there's a bathroom in there and point to the VIP. he says yeah but be careful bc i'm not supposed to let you up there, opens the door and in I go. VIP drinks, they had food , posh bathroom. the works.
i come back out and go back to my seat. cheryl is doing the peepee dance now and tries the same move. denied.
and cheryl starts yelling, what?? what's going on ?? what just happened here??
so he ran away hahaa then we were leaving and she was teasing me that he was going to follow us home. sure enough, he was out waiting by the stop sign, tried to flag us down. i just smiled, waved and said damnit cheryl drive drive drive. hahahahahahahaa
At the U2 concert.. ok this was a good one. we were sitting up pretty high in the stadium and about 3 rows back from us was this whole seperate VIP section with concessions and huge bathrooms, all air conditioned. etc. the normal ticket holders (like us) weren't allowed up there, only VIP ticket holders and there was this whacky little guy guarding the door. well it was blazing ass hot in that stadium and i was dying. the beer guy was walking around with his cooler so i told cheryl to grab me some of his ice so i could rub it on myself to cool off. so she reaches over and the guy is all , what are you doing?? and she says oh i just need some ice for my friend lol so he gives her this big plastic cup of ice. the guard at the door, i kid you not, refilled that ice cup for me about 12 times. he kept bringing it over, reaching past cheryl to give it to me, lol the people behind us were like oh wow that's nice of him, but where the hell is OUR ice??
so then i had to pee, i get out of the aisle and walk up the 3 rows to the guard and ask if there's a bathroom in there and point to the VIP. he says yeah but be careful bc i'm not supposed to let you up there, opens the door and in I go. VIP drinks, they had food , posh bathroom. the works.
i come back out and go back to my seat. cheryl is doing the peepee dance now and tries the same move. denied.
October TeXXXts
10/26/09 10:14pm I'm not the kind of girl that gets cock thrown in her mouth and i don't tolerate being disrespected. Not the girl for you, but good luck with that. (LeeLoo)
10/26/09 8:27pm Soryy (BS)
10/26/09 8:12pm not in a fun mood. sorry. long day. if i came over now i'd want to make out and then throw my cock in your mouth lol (BS)
10/26/09 8:01pm I'm in a selfish mood lol (BS)
10/26/09 11:47am lunchtime means get sexy for me (SMcC)
10/25/09 8:44pm I'm just THAT good. Wanna tittyfuck me? (LeeLoo)
10/25/09 8pm oh the power you wield... (CS)
10/25/09 7:52pm i was covered! i swear!! i had on my bandana dress, my 2000-late denim jacket buttoned up over the girls and sandals. i hugged him goodbye and he texted me that i gave him an instant mega hardon. oye (LeeLoo)
10/25/09 7:52 pm what were you wearing, Jodi Foster? (CS)
10/25/09 7:49pm i know right? and SO romantic. I love a nice candlelit dinner,,, a bit of wine, snuggle by the fire and a tittyfuck. :P ugh (LeeLoo)
10/25/09 5:34pm Yankees game at 8 (BS)
10/25/09 5:06pm lemme come tittyfuck you (BS)
10/25/09 5:03pm handjob doesn't hurt, little tittyfuckin lol (BS)
10/25/09 5pm address? lol (BS)
10/25/09 4:57pm lol wanna get nailed before dinner? (BS)
10/25/09 4:36pm hard on in full effect lol (BS)
10/25/09 3:50pm yes starbucks at 4. i can meet for a half hour or so (BS)
10/25/09 3:49pm forget that last text. i got her to make it later. meet you at 4 (BS)
10/25/09 3:45pm This sucks but my mom just started making dinner. Can we meet tonight after your done with dinner? (BS)
10/25/09 Fuck that noise. That's a violation of trust!! (AlliesM)
10/25/09 8:58pm wear a skirt later lol jk (BS)
10/23/09 10:34pm damn ur hot that ass looks good too (BS)
10/23/09 10:24pm you're gorgeous (BS)
10/23/09 7:39pm fashion bug and jingle bells in October are not my favorite things (CS)
10/23/09 7:22pm no watching elf out of season!!! (CS)
10/22/09 7:36pm r u showing off your undies again? lol! (stepmom)
10/22/09 6:34pm wanna see it (DS)
10/22/09 6:32pm i'm looking at some porn, thinking about getting you in these positions... (AK)
10/22/09 4:33pm i want it rather bad (DS)
10/22/09 3:45pm bitch i don't know your life?! u could be a meth dealin serial rapist that picked girls up with sub par palm reading (KD)
10/22/09 3:41pm i sometimes use facebook as my reject excuse; i'll be like, "how bout u find me on facebook" & then i won't friend them (KDN)
10/22/09 3:13pm let's do this (DS)
10/22/09 2:57pm just got cut from work - trying to wrastle somebody into daytime drinking. wish u were here & we could smak talk all these assmunchers over margaritas or beer
10/22/09 2:14pm ps that creeper from jury duty asked for my #? i was like, no (KDN)
10/21/09 10:01pm went to see whip it (shells)
10/21/09 9:59pm im having the hardest time finding people into bdsm im gonna give up and just go vanilla get a boring girl marry her get a dog and call it a day hahaha (iliac crest)
10/21/09 9:07 pm so how big r they baby? (DS)
10/21/09 8:31pm how big r they? (DS)
10/20/09 12:05pm right!! hey guess what i did last night?? MY BOYFRIEND, TWICE -get it?! (KDN)
10/20/09 12:04pm have a good rest of your lunch, err i mean drink! eh, it's all the same really (KDN)
10/19/09 10:18pm i meant inside your house. ill walk in say hi and kiss you and leave. no harm. (BS)
10/19/09 10:08pm i'm a good kisser promise. No wandering hands (BS)
10/19/09 10:06pm If I promise to be good can I come kiss you? (BS)
10/19/09 9:39pm I want you in that (24)
10/19/09 9:36pm You looked goooooooood on the wine tour lady (24)
10/19/09 8:49pm Haven't shaved glasses on giant hardon in my pants, ya know? lol (BS)
10/19/09 8:47pm wanna meet real quick? I look like hell but I'll meet (BS)
10/19/09 8:37pm Yea I am in a frenzy. Might have to jo in the car lol (BS)
10/19/09 8:08pm 9 maybe. I wanna shower and get rid of some of these hormones (BS)
10/19/09 7:57pm PS I'm a huge yankee fan and I cant go anywhere until this game is over (BS)
10/19/09 7:41pm lol send me a pic of those babies so I can get them out of my head. So i'm not inclined to ask to see them. lol (BS)
10/19/09 7:10pm lol feel free to change lol tube top perhaps? hahaa (BS)
10/18/09 6:46pm just finished dinner nom nom nom (the dood)
10/18/09 3:09pm what you doing tonight? want to hook up? ;) (Bob)
10/18/09 2:53pm I hate this girl (KJ)
10/18/09 9:53am where's my stale bear claw? (the dood)
10/17/09 10:44pm Look what ya did, ya clumsy POOP!!! (AlliesM)
10/17/09 3:18pm u know i want that (24)
10/17/09 3:15pm stupid brakes!!!! (24)
10/17/09 3:02pm i would love toooooooo (24)
10/17/09 3:01pm whatre u wearin (24)
10/17/09 2:55pm mmmmm sexy :P (24)
10/17/09 2:50pm haha it soudns like theres a huge hole in the pipes or somethin, think it might be serious. i made an airplane. im gonna fly over (24)
10/17/09 1:23am can i be yours tomorrow? even if i don't have a car? (24)
10/17/09 12:08am my brakes are shot until thurs i think :( you've gotta be done with me (24)
10/16/09 10:44pm gimme some yumyum (fishbreath)
10/16/09 12:36pm hahahaa i'll kick him out by 6:30 (leeloo)
10/16/09 12:34pm i won't come a knockin!!! (tee)
10/16/09 12:31pm i have a booty call beforehand so if the house is a rockin... (leeloo)
10/16/09 11:37am jesus what's with you today? you're never like this (ak)
10/16/09 10:46am that was a little dirtier than normal. but still true. i do talk like that in bed tho (ak)
10/16/09 10:35am you KNOW the thing. (leeloo)
10/16/09 10:34am which thing you love? i can do it all baby (fishbreath)
10/16/09 10:32am you're doing that thing i love. so prepare yourself. there's no way around it (leeloo)
10/16/09 10:25am that too. you're going to make today difficult (ak)
10/16/09 10:19am reverse cowgirl (ak)
10/16/09 10:05am mission accomplished. were they pleasantly raunchy? (leeloo)
10/16/09 10:03am you gave me pleasant dreams (ak)
10/16/09 10:01am thats cool. perhaps i can see that smile soon. how bout some drinks tonight? (fishbreath)
10/15/09 11:10pm i dont doubt that you are. and i dont think you're shy enough to be blushing (ak)
10/15/09 10:50pm blushing. see? occasionally i blush (leeloo)
10/15/09 9:22pm what u doin babe? (whiny jay!!!! out of nowhere!!!)
10/15/09 9:38pm i'm always seeing someone (leeloo)
10/15/09 9:21pm aren't you seeing someone? i guess that doesn't matter. (ak)
10/15/09 9:15pm God.Damn. (ak)
10/15/09 9:11pm i'd talk dirtier but the gf is around (ak)
10/15/09 9:09pm we're going to have to figure out when i'm gonna see that in person(finally) (ak)
10/15/09 8:35pm big surprise ur drinking (mm)
10/15/09 5:51pm i'm bringin sexy back (leeloo)
10/14/09 8:00pm Dying of the Mormon swine (shih)
10/14/09 3:54pm soooooooooooo how bout round two (ds)
10/13/09 9:34pm damnit!! the dick was mediocre (leeloo)
10/13/09 5:36pm Whore (shih)
10/13/09 5:33pm nope. passed out tired. tonight's lookin good tho. (leeloo)
10/13/09 5:33pm no cock yet huh? (shih)
10/13/09 2:07pm you should've let me smash it (DS)
10/13/09 1:57pm i liked you in general. unit is impressive.
10/13/09 1:56pm you liked my unit (DS)
10/13/09 1:14pm you wish i was in ur inbox (DS)
10/13/09 12:29pm working. and just surprised to see you in my inbox (leeloo)
10/12/09 6:18pm you say that now. tequila will say otherwise. muahahahaha (leeloo)
10/12/09 6:09pm we are not seeing a donkey show!! (AlliesM)
10/12/09 6:09pm hahahaaaaa and donkey show (leeloo)
10/12/09 6:07pm ok i see a swim up bar in out future (AlliesM)
10/12/09 6:04pm two words for you. Mex Ico (leeloo)
10/12/09 12:16pm wear a trojie (Shih)
10/12/09 12:01pm can you see their catorce? (Shih)
10/12/09 11:35am omg stop it! Mercy flight... (Shih)
10/12/09 11:04am no longer a hairy beaverhausen? (shih)
10/12/09 10:43am this is a four star resort... No schlepping required. (shih)
10/09/09 11:40am sick. i knew we were blood related. Next time yell the power of Christ compels you!! Bukkake!! (AlliesM)
10/09/09 4:04pm i dont know which i like better, grape sunkist or the taste of your lips.. they're both so rub ur stomach yummy (Bronx)
10/09/09 2:48pm you're beautiful like the mountains of Italy (Bronx)
10/09/09 2:40pm Molta bella (Bronx)
10/09/09 2:28pm Mama mai.. Via siete come le montagne della italia (Bronx)
10/08/09 9:12pm tell her to get your medicine, damnit!! (AlliesM)
10/08/09 8:45pm that's terrible. but the founders of Mormonism must have been on pot or something when they wrote it. So i'm sure it's ok. magic underpants?? sounds like a stoner to me. (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:12pm Douche boxes!!! (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:08pm see if that shit is $15 now, dickhole (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:07pm so fuck the shirts. you should have asked to see one and wiped your cooter on it (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:05pm you should have tried Katrna victims (AlliesM)
10/07/09 3:48pm not sure probably a combo of liking doing it and watching a LOT of porn (MM)
10/07/09 3:35pm i wish we could get married right now. Id make $1140 per month extra just4being married. $16,920 a year extra pay. NICE (Baghdad)
10/07/09 3:33pm never done it on any sort of vehicle (MM)
10/07/09 3:31pm oh or you can try that "i ride for free" shit that worked in the Bahamas (Shih)
10/07/09 12:14pm wonder if they serve liquor here? (Shih)
10/07/09 12:14pm i'm walking around walmart eating Luna bars outta the box... starved (shih)
10/06/09 11:58pm Ouch. that hurts (ED)
10/06/09 11:54pm k cool. let me come over and "sleep" (ED)
10/06/09 11:51pm i need to c u now :)~ (ED)
10/06/09 11:36pm um not cool (ED)
10/06/09 11:34pm wtf (ED)
10/06/09 11:31pm nice (ED)
10/06/09 11:28pm i should cum over (ED)
10/06/09 11:24pm ... (ED)
10/06/09 11:17pm i should visit (ED)
10/06/09 10:53pm pla pla please (ED)
10/06/09 10:31pm hello??? (ED)
10/05/09 12:15pm your driveway was oddly devoid of guests this sunday, were you on retreat? (SG)
10/02/09 11:04am You cut Baghdad loose? How the hell did you manage that, wasn't he like out there wiping out whole towns in your name or whatever? (SG)
10/26/09 8:27pm Soryy (BS)
10/26/09 8:12pm not in a fun mood. sorry. long day. if i came over now i'd want to make out and then throw my cock in your mouth lol (BS)
10/26/09 8:01pm I'm in a selfish mood lol (BS)
10/26/09 11:47am lunchtime means get sexy for me (SMcC)
10/25/09 8:44pm I'm just THAT good. Wanna tittyfuck me? (LeeLoo)
10/25/09 8pm oh the power you wield... (CS)
10/25/09 7:52pm i was covered! i swear!! i had on my bandana dress, my 2000-late denim jacket buttoned up over the girls and sandals. i hugged him goodbye and he texted me that i gave him an instant mega hardon. oye (LeeLoo)
10/25/09 7:52 pm what were you wearing, Jodi Foster? (CS)
10/25/09 7:49pm i know right? and SO romantic. I love a nice candlelit dinner,,, a bit of wine, snuggle by the fire and a tittyfuck. :P ugh (LeeLoo)
10/25/09 5:34pm Yankees game at 8 (BS)
10/25/09 5:06pm lemme come tittyfuck you (BS)
10/25/09 5:03pm handjob doesn't hurt, little tittyfuckin lol (BS)
10/25/09 5pm address? lol (BS)
10/25/09 4:57pm lol wanna get nailed before dinner? (BS)
10/25/09 4:36pm hard on in full effect lol (BS)
10/25/09 3:50pm yes starbucks at 4. i can meet for a half hour or so (BS)
10/25/09 3:49pm forget that last text. i got her to make it later. meet you at 4 (BS)
10/25/09 3:45pm This sucks but my mom just started making dinner. Can we meet tonight after your done with dinner? (BS)
10/25/09 Fuck that noise. That's a violation of trust!! (AlliesM)
10/25/09 8:58pm wear a skirt later lol jk (BS)
10/23/09 10:34pm damn ur hot that ass looks good too (BS)
10/23/09 10:24pm you're gorgeous (BS)
10/23/09 7:39pm fashion bug and jingle bells in October are not my favorite things (CS)
10/23/09 7:22pm no watching elf out of season!!! (CS)
10/22/09 7:36pm r u showing off your undies again? lol! (stepmom)
10/22/09 6:34pm wanna see it (DS)
10/22/09 6:32pm i'm looking at some porn, thinking about getting you in these positions... (AK)
10/22/09 4:33pm i want it rather bad (DS)
10/22/09 3:45pm bitch i don't know your life?! u could be a meth dealin serial rapist that picked girls up with sub par palm reading (KD)
10/22/09 3:41pm i sometimes use facebook as my reject excuse; i'll be like, "how bout u find me on facebook" & then i won't friend them (KDN)
10/22/09 3:13pm let's do this (DS)
10/22/09 2:57pm just got cut from work - trying to wrastle somebody into daytime drinking. wish u were here & we could smak talk all these assmunchers over margaritas or beer
10/22/09 2:14pm ps that creeper from jury duty asked for my #? i was like, no (KDN)
10/21/09 10:01pm went to see whip it (shells)
10/21/09 9:59pm im having the hardest time finding people into bdsm im gonna give up and just go vanilla get a boring girl marry her get a dog and call it a day hahaha (iliac crest)
10/21/09 9:07 pm so how big r they baby? (DS)
10/21/09 8:31pm how big r they? (DS)
10/20/09 12:05pm right!! hey guess what i did last night?? MY BOYFRIEND, TWICE -get it?! (KDN)
10/20/09 12:04pm have a good rest of your lunch, err i mean drink! eh, it's all the same really (KDN)
10/19/09 10:18pm i meant inside your house. ill walk in say hi and kiss you and leave. no harm. (BS)
10/19/09 10:08pm i'm a good kisser promise. No wandering hands (BS)
10/19/09 10:06pm If I promise to be good can I come kiss you? (BS)
10/19/09 9:39pm I want you in that (24)
10/19/09 9:36pm You looked goooooooood on the wine tour lady (24)
10/19/09 8:49pm Haven't shaved glasses on giant hardon in my pants, ya know? lol (BS)
10/19/09 8:47pm wanna meet real quick? I look like hell but I'll meet (BS)
10/19/09 8:37pm Yea I am in a frenzy. Might have to jo in the car lol (BS)
10/19/09 8:08pm 9 maybe. I wanna shower and get rid of some of these hormones (BS)
10/19/09 7:57pm PS I'm a huge yankee fan and I cant go anywhere until this game is over (BS)
10/19/09 7:41pm lol send me a pic of those babies so I can get them out of my head. So i'm not inclined to ask to see them. lol (BS)
10/19/09 7:10pm lol feel free to change lol tube top perhaps? hahaa (BS)
10/18/09 6:46pm just finished dinner nom nom nom (the dood)
10/18/09 3:09pm what you doing tonight? want to hook up? ;) (Bob)
10/18/09 2:53pm I hate this girl (KJ)
10/18/09 9:53am where's my stale bear claw? (the dood)
10/17/09 10:44pm Look what ya did, ya clumsy POOP!!! (AlliesM)
10/17/09 3:18pm u know i want that (24)
10/17/09 3:15pm stupid brakes!!!! (24)
10/17/09 3:02pm i would love toooooooo (24)
10/17/09 3:01pm whatre u wearin (24)
10/17/09 2:55pm mmmmm sexy :P (24)
10/17/09 2:50pm haha it soudns like theres a huge hole in the pipes or somethin, think it might be serious. i made an airplane. im gonna fly over (24)
10/17/09 1:23am can i be yours tomorrow? even if i don't have a car? (24)
10/17/09 12:08am my brakes are shot until thurs i think :( you've gotta be done with me (24)
10/16/09 10:44pm gimme some yumyum (fishbreath)
10/16/09 12:36pm hahahaa i'll kick him out by 6:30 (leeloo)
10/16/09 12:34pm i won't come a knockin!!! (tee)
10/16/09 12:31pm i have a booty call beforehand so if the house is a rockin... (leeloo)
10/16/09 11:37am jesus what's with you today? you're never like this (ak)
10/16/09 10:46am that was a little dirtier than normal. but still true. i do talk like that in bed tho (ak)
10/16/09 10:35am you KNOW the thing. (leeloo)
10/16/09 10:34am which thing you love? i can do it all baby (fishbreath)
10/16/09 10:32am you're doing that thing i love. so prepare yourself. there's no way around it (leeloo)
10/16/09 10:25am that too. you're going to make today difficult (ak)
10/16/09 10:19am reverse cowgirl (ak)
10/16/09 10:05am mission accomplished. were they pleasantly raunchy? (leeloo)
10/16/09 10:03am you gave me pleasant dreams (ak)
10/16/09 10:01am thats cool. perhaps i can see that smile soon. how bout some drinks tonight? (fishbreath)
10/15/09 11:10pm i dont doubt that you are. and i dont think you're shy enough to be blushing (ak)
10/15/09 10:50pm blushing. see? occasionally i blush (leeloo)
10/15/09 9:22pm what u doin babe? (whiny jay!!!! out of nowhere!!!)
10/15/09 9:38pm i'm always seeing someone (leeloo)
10/15/09 9:21pm aren't you seeing someone? i guess that doesn't matter. (ak)
10/15/09 9:15pm God.Damn. (ak)
10/15/09 9:11pm i'd talk dirtier but the gf is around (ak)
10/15/09 9:09pm we're going to have to figure out when i'm gonna see that in person(finally) (ak)
10/15/09 8:35pm big surprise ur drinking (mm)
10/15/09 5:51pm i'm bringin sexy back (leeloo)
10/14/09 8:00pm Dying of the Mormon swine (shih)
10/14/09 3:54pm soooooooooooo how bout round two (ds)
10/13/09 9:34pm damnit!! the dick was mediocre (leeloo)
10/13/09 5:36pm Whore (shih)
10/13/09 5:33pm nope. passed out tired. tonight's lookin good tho. (leeloo)
10/13/09 5:33pm no cock yet huh? (shih)
10/13/09 2:07pm you should've let me smash it (DS)
10/13/09 1:57pm i liked you in general. unit is impressive.
10/13/09 1:56pm you liked my unit (DS)
10/13/09 1:14pm you wish i was in ur inbox (DS)
10/13/09 12:29pm working. and just surprised to see you in my inbox (leeloo)
10/12/09 6:18pm you say that now. tequila will say otherwise. muahahahaha (leeloo)
10/12/09 6:09pm we are not seeing a donkey show!! (AlliesM)
10/12/09 6:09pm hahahaaaaa and donkey show (leeloo)
10/12/09 6:07pm ok i see a swim up bar in out future (AlliesM)
10/12/09 6:04pm two words for you. Mex Ico (leeloo)
10/12/09 12:16pm wear a trojie (Shih)
10/12/09 12:01pm can you see their catorce? (Shih)
10/12/09 11:35am omg stop it! Mercy flight... (Shih)
10/12/09 11:04am no longer a hairy beaverhausen? (shih)
10/12/09 10:43am this is a four star resort... No schlepping required. (shih)
10/09/09 11:40am sick. i knew we were blood related. Next time yell the power of Christ compels you!! Bukkake!! (AlliesM)
10/09/09 4:04pm i dont know which i like better, grape sunkist or the taste of your lips.. they're both so rub ur stomach yummy (Bronx)
10/09/09 2:48pm you're beautiful like the mountains of Italy (Bronx)
10/09/09 2:40pm Molta bella (Bronx)
10/09/09 2:28pm Mama mai.. Via siete come le montagne della italia (Bronx)
10/08/09 9:12pm tell her to get your medicine, damnit!! (AlliesM)
10/08/09 8:45pm that's terrible. but the founders of Mormonism must have been on pot or something when they wrote it. So i'm sure it's ok. magic underpants?? sounds like a stoner to me. (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:12pm Douche boxes!!! (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:08pm see if that shit is $15 now, dickhole (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:07pm so fuck the shirts. you should have asked to see one and wiped your cooter on it (AlliesM)
10/07/09 10:05pm you should have tried Katrna victims (AlliesM)
10/07/09 3:48pm not sure probably a combo of liking doing it and watching a LOT of porn (MM)
10/07/09 3:35pm i wish we could get married right now. Id make $1140 per month extra just4being married. $16,920 a year extra pay. NICE (Baghdad)
10/07/09 3:33pm never done it on any sort of vehicle (MM)
10/07/09 3:31pm oh or you can try that "i ride for free" shit that worked in the Bahamas (Shih)
10/07/09 12:14pm wonder if they serve liquor here? (Shih)
10/07/09 12:14pm i'm walking around walmart eating Luna bars outta the box... starved (shih)
10/06/09 11:58pm Ouch. that hurts (ED)
10/06/09 11:54pm k cool. let me come over and "sleep" (ED)
10/06/09 11:51pm i need to c u now :)~ (ED)
10/06/09 11:36pm um not cool (ED)
10/06/09 11:34pm wtf (ED)
10/06/09 11:31pm nice (ED)
10/06/09 11:28pm i should cum over (ED)
10/06/09 11:24pm ... (ED)
10/06/09 11:17pm i should visit (ED)
10/06/09 10:53pm pla pla please (ED)
10/06/09 10:31pm hello??? (ED)
10/05/09 12:15pm your driveway was oddly devoid of guests this sunday, were you on retreat? (SG)
10/02/09 11:04am You cut Baghdad loose? How the hell did you manage that, wasn't he like out there wiping out whole towns in your name or whatever? (SG)
october POF emails
From: PPEMW (View Profile)
Subject: Something insightful Sent Date: 10/25/2009 10:41:49 PM
Nothing further then?
From: bob4374 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hello there Sent Date: 10/25/2009 11:37:11 PM
So what do you do at work? And what do you think of what i have written in my profile, do you think we have anything in common? What happened to your last relationship why did it end? Where do you live? How long ago did you get your house? Are you a cuddler?
Original Message YOU sent on 10/24/2009 6:53:03 PMidk. maybe next week. meet for a drink or whatever
From: mr.hockey03 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hey Sent Date: 10/24/2009 9:55:58 PM
or whatever? how about tomorrow night, thats next week!
From: chillbill244344 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: hi Sent Date: 10/18/2009 9:01:35 PM
hey whats up,my name is Will from the rochester NY area, I just came across your page an I really like what I see an I would love to get to know you,, if your interested an like what u see, get back to me, ;)
From: bone1300 (View Profile) Subject: hey lips
Sent Date: 10/15/2009 11:43:36 PM
minga, i just needed a smiling face last night. and where were you.???????? couldnt even answer your door. to see who was at it. so not cool. and send me your number agin. or did you forget about me.
From: makemelaughwithyou (View Profile) Subject: hi
Sent Date: 10/12/2009 9:19:52 AM
Your profile was short and sweet....oddly enough leaving me want to know you more....if you are interesting in starting a dialogue....message me back Ray
From: NOR_CAL_KID (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: Hi
Sent Date: 10/12/2009 4:10:50 PM
Hey!,whats up? I read over you profile,and I think we could be a good match! My name is Robert,i'm from California. I'm Mexican/sicilian,I love the Dodgers,49ers,and Lakers!! How about you? Tell me more about yourself?
From: ThE_wAViEsT (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hi
Sent Date: 10/12/2009 4:18:05 PM
hey gorgeous! r u single yet???
From: meluvin (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hi
Sent Date: 10/3/2009 8:02:39 AM
I love your profile and I was wondering if we can interact sometime through IM or phone texting.
From: jus2letuknow (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hi beautiful
Sent Date: 10/5/2009 10:14:26 AM
ur very adoreable!!
From: ArmyDzzz (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hey
Sent Date: 10/5/2009 4:46:40 PM
your a cutie whats your name? im Dan
Subject: Something insightful Sent Date: 10/25/2009 10:41:49 PM
Nothing further then?
From: bob4374 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:Hello there Sent Date: 10/25/2009 11:37:11 PM
So what do you do at work? And what do you think of what i have written in my profile, do you think we have anything in common? What happened to your last relationship why did it end? Where do you live? How long ago did you get your house? Are you a cuddler?
Original Message YOU sent on 10/24/2009 6:53:03 PMidk. maybe next week. meet for a drink or whatever
From: mr.hockey03 (View Profile)
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:hey Sent Date: 10/24/2009 9:55:58 PM
or whatever? how about tomorrow night, thats next week!
From: chillbill244344 (View Profile) (View All Correspondence)
Subject: hi Sent Date: 10/18/2009 9:01:35 PM
hey whats up,my name is Will from the rochester NY area, I just came across your page an I really like what I see an I would love to get to know you,, if your interested an like what u see, get back to me, ;)
From: bone1300 (View Profile) Subject: hey lips
Sent Date: 10/15/2009 11:43:36 PM
minga, i just needed a smiling face last night. and where were you.???????? couldnt even answer your door. to see who was at it. so not cool. and send me your number agin. or did you forget about me.
From: makemelaughwithyou (View Profile) Subject: hi
Sent Date: 10/12/2009 9:19:52 AM
Your profile was short and sweet....oddly enough leaving me want to know you more....if you are interesting in starting a dialogue....message me back Ray
From: NOR_CAL_KID (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: Hi
Sent Date: 10/12/2009 4:10:50 PM
Hey!,whats up? I read over you profile,and I think we could be a good match! My name is Robert,i'm from California. I'm Mexican/sicilian,I love the Dodgers,49ers,and Lakers!! How about you? Tell me more about yourself?
From: ThE_wAViEsT (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hi
Sent Date: 10/12/2009 4:18:05 PM
hey gorgeous! r u single yet???
From: meluvin (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hi
Sent Date: 10/3/2009 8:02:39 AM
I love your profile and I was wondering if we can interact sometime through IM or phone texting.
From: jus2letuknow (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hi beautiful
Sent Date: 10/5/2009 10:14:26 AM
ur very adoreable!!
From: ArmyDzzz (View Profile) (View All Correspondence) Subject: hey
Sent Date: 10/5/2009 4:46:40 PM
your a cutie whats your name? im Dan
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