Gentleman, start your engines BEFORE you send me pictures of your peni (plural for penis). It's bad enough that you feel the need to shoot awkward photos on your camera phones with some tiny hope that I will send you something back, at the very least you could make the pictures interesting. Put a bowtie on it. Make it sing a little song. I'm partial to Lady Gaga's Paparazzi... BUT please for the love of GOD get it up before you press record. There is nothing worse than a flaccid penis floppin around - it's not a pretty appendage. Work with me here, put it in it's best light, raise him to his full potential!! Because frankly, when I show your pics and vids to all my friends, don't you want them to have a small moment of appreciation before they laugh and point?
PS: If any of you want to see said peni, all ya gotta do is ask. They're especially fun at cocktail parties.
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