Knuckles bar in Chili
04/02/2010
Guy from pof - Dave

Last night I had a date with this guy I have been talking to for the last week on POF. He’s 32, works in shipping and receiving, has his own place, no kids and loves dogs. Sounds great right? He’s been texting me all week, princess this and honey that – coming on a little strong but whatevs, I figured he had earned a shot.

So Friday comes – the day of our date – and he’s texting me all day, “am I picking you up? Where do you want to go? Can’t wait to meet you” yadda yadda yadda. I get out of work and go to my bestie’s house for a pre-date warm up, have a couple of gin and tonics, some appetizers, some laughs and hockey with her family… it comes time for me to leave to meet my date and I don’t wanna go :P but the place we’re meeting is literally 2 mins away so I zip over, find a place to park and start walking in. He was waiting outside for me and saw me pull in so he comes bounding up like a puppy across the parking lot. And I instantly know I will never have sex with him. Ya just know. At least, I do anyway. He’s wearing knee length dark blue denim shorts, bright white brand new sneakers and a Hawaiian shirt with pinup girls all over it. And a huge grin from ear to ear that doesn’t leave his face for the remainder of the date.

Did I mention he doesn’t drink?? Ugh. So we go in the bar and it’s like every bar in America that I hate – big tv screens all over the place with UFC on, muscley guys in tight t-shirts pounding jagerbombs, and skinny tanned bartenders in tight tank tops and miniskirts. He had a water, I ordered a gin and tonic (I never mix booze if I can possibly help it) and we try to make it through some awkward first date conversation which is damn near impossible because the place is SOOOOOO loud and distracting. He starts talking about football and I say I prefer hockey, baseball and boxing. He says his tv is on the NHL channel 24/7 and his ex used to bitch nonstop about wanting to watch something else. Not looking good… after about 45 mins I ask if we can go outside because I’m sick of the loud bar. We sit outside, start talking about our puppies and I don’t remember how but kids come up. I say I don’t really like kids and I’m not sure when I’ll have them, if ever. He literally stands up and says, “well I’m sorry. It was really nice meeting you though”. Seriously. So I’m like, “ummmmm ok…? Do you think you could walk me to my car?” A quick hug goodnight, I thanked him for the drink and I was back to my bestie’s in under an hour.

The texts I got from him about a half hour later:
I’m sorry… I know im a jerk but I want babies sooner than later, plus and please don’t take this the wrong way. But my X wife hated all those things about me and I just think I would drive u crazy & I spent most of the past 3 years feeling like I had to act like someone other than myself. I AM VERY SORRY.

Then:
I think you are so pretty and felt we had good chemistry. I just wanted to be fair to you when I realized that the couple things were big things ya know….

And then:
Seriously…you’re a great girl. If I didn’t honestly think that I wouldn’t try to explain…id just have left things where they were. I pray you find a dood guy

I can only assume he meant “good guy”. Ok so on the one hand, kudos to him for knowing what he wants and sticking to his guns but on the other…. Seriously?! It’s our first date and you disqualify me because I don’t want to have babies immediately with you? He literally said he wants “babies tomorrow”. Where do these crazy ass men come from? Oh and the kicker!!! He’s 37!!!! LIAR!! I had this feeling he was older because he has all these Patrick Swayze crows’ feet around his eyes so I flat out asked him and he said 37. Ass. No wonder his biological clock is ticking.

Tonight I have a date with a guy named Kevin, but he has a strong resemblance to Quasimodo in his facebook pics so we’ll call him that henceforth. Quasi saw me on a friend’s facebook page and asked to be set up. For the last couple of months I’ve said no but I finally relented because he actually does seem like a nice guy (famous last words). He at least gets props for picking a cool place – in Charlotte there is this old fire station they converted it into a bar. Can’t wait to check it out. I’ll let you know what happens :P