men piss me off to no end II

i wanted to see little cutie pie brandon (aka fish breath, aka bse2) last week because the kid makes me laugh like no other (except maybe my brother). i texted him to see if he wanted to hang out. we made plans for dinner and met up at my place.

he gets to my house and we decide to head out to a chinese place he wants to go to. we walk outside and he heads right to my car. i was like ummm i guess i'm driving?? and he says, "oh well i could drive your car if you wanted." excuse me??? the evening was NOT starting off well.

We get to the place, order and enjoy a nice meal together. he had me laughing, we ate til we were stuffed full of crazy delicious food and talked about what to do the rest of the evening. he wanted to go to marshall's to look at shoes. which, hello, i'm ALWAYS down for.
the check comes at the end of the meal and he slides it over to me. seriously. wtf??? i said ummm, you better get your ass in the kitchen and do some dishes... he says he doesn't have any cash. ok..... why would you come to dinner and not bring any money??

i should have really ended the date there, but i did want to look at sheets at marshall's so off we went. we shopped seperately - he went his way, i went mine. he knew i was pissed.
on the way back to my house i remembered i needed to buy a new makeup compact and stopped at the rite aid. he asked if i had anything to drink at my house and i said no. when i went up to check out he plunked down two orange sodas with my things. i gave him the wtf face and he said, ohh i have no cash. OMG!!!!!!! are you goddamn kidding me?!?!
we get back to my house and i'm fuming. he makes himself a rum and orange soda. WITH MY RUM while i'm outside with the puppies. I come back in and he has a dvd in the player and feet up on the couch. apparently he wasn't finished with the evening. makes himself awful gd comfortable. jackass.

i sit down, pissed, and we watch the movie with him pawing at me the whole time and me jabbing him with my elbows, ducking his kisses, etc. He knows i'm pissed and he still thinks he's gonna get something out of me? BSE2 or not - ain't happening.
the movie ends and i get up and start doing dishes in the kitchen - hopefully signalling him to leave. he comes in and says, "ya know a lot of guys would be really pissed about this, but..." and holds out a wad of cash that apparently had fallen out of his pocket only to be chewed up by bennett and jackson!! hahahaa he says, "don't worry. they only got $2. and i won't make you give me the money".

and here is where i literally lost my mind. everything after that was a bit of a blur, but i remember seeing red and hearing a demonic voice that i can only assume was mine saying, "douchebag, a lot of girls would be really pissed about having to drive your ass around, feed you, entertain you - all because you supposedly have no money, only to find out you have a pocketful of cash get out get out get OUT"and i haven't spoken to him since.

a day later i was vacuuming and found $4 worth of barely chewed bills under the couch. good puppies.