Yesterday on my way into work I blew out my idler pulley and shredded my alternator belt. You can't drive without it. Lukily I have roadside assistance with my insurance so half an hour of "woe is me" later my cutie pie knight in shining armour showed up to tow me back the two blocks back to my house. But for awhile there I was definitely having an "I'm gonna die alone!!! BOHOHOOHOOOOOO" moment. btw a friend put that in perspective for me later "you're gonna die alone? two blocks from your house? it was 40 degrees out this morning!!"
Texted one of my favorite minions (favorite because he likes me so much he works on my car for free and I don't even have to put out) and he went over on his lunch break with a new belt and took care of it!! Then he called the dealer, got the other part I needed put aside for me and came back over last night to finish the job. His texts:
03/17/2010 1:29pm - you're gonna need a bearing. i'll call the dealer and find out how much/how long but don't drive it unnecessarily until i can get back over there to finish it. the inside of your car smells so F-ing good! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm smells like your perfume. gave me a boner when i opened the door. really. you know how hard it is to fix a car with a hard on?
hahahahahaha you kind of have to love men, don't you? we've never even so much as kissed because even though i think he's crazy hot, he's one of those gym rat types that works out 2 hours a day and eats nothing but boiled chicken. not that i'm terribly self conscious about my body or whatever but it shows that i haven't been as good about hitting the gym and i just feel all soft and doughy around him :P i can't imagine what an elephant i'd feel like nekkid with mr hardbody there.... so i told him all that last month when he was chasing me hard core and he totally doesn't get it. he's like, "you're hot and sexy as hell. i'd kill for a shot." but no.... idk.... we'll see. ;)
THEN frankentoe was texting me last night. he's away on vacation through the weekend and he wanted to check in i guess (probably because he saw hardbody commenting on my fb page) so i told him about my day with the car nonsense and asked about his trip. he says, "great so far! playing golf and strip clubs tomorrow".
now i don't want to be a bitch here but was it really necessary to tell me that? i realize it's probably a bit hypocritical of me to be jealous of some booby-shaking when i was lusting after my mechanic all day and of course there's the whole I SEE OTHER GUYS thing but idk... i'm a bit jealous. which i never am. so i'm trying to talk myself down from the crazy shelf (it's not a ledge yet, i'm not THAT jealous). Is it bothering me because he's away with a bunch of marines all hopped up on beer and testosterone, going to ogle (or worse) a bunch of perfect bodied women on his birthday (and god knows what strippers give as birthday gifts ugh). and what about the after effects if he somehow manages NOT to bang a stripper - it's not like i'm there to take care of whatever pops up - is he gonna find himself in the clutches of some marine groupie that's barnacled onto the base in hopes of ridin a man in uniform? Not that I'm judging those girls. The uniform is hot, i totally get it. I'm just sayin... while it's perfectly ok for me to call up one of my usual suspects to come drown my sorrows this saturday night (which would have been my 11 year anniversary with my ex - i can't even discuss it but it probably led to my "dying alone" meltdown and my stupid stripper insecurity) i don't want him hooking up with some vacation pootay. :(
insane? a bit. do i care? not a bit.
So i texted back, "sounds good have fun"
and he texted me "how about you? you having any fun?"
I didn't reply. I don't know if he means PG fun or drowning my sorrows with younger boys fun. besides, i'm a bit bent about his plans for today so he can wonder why i didn't answer. should he think of it when he's ears deep in fake tits...
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